Yeah, it's 2012!

I have to say - I'm thankful 2011 is over. It was a pretty hard year for us and for many others in our family. I'm glad the back cover of 2011 is face up on my desk and the book for 2012 has been cracked open. The pages are all blank, clear, white, empty. For the most part we get to choose how it's filled up. And at the end of 2012 I hope there are a few themes that run through our book: hope, joy, health, contentment, close relationships with family and friends, along with a deeper understanding of who Jesus is and who we are together. {and I have other theme ideas too like decorating, writing, DIY projects, family trips, and on and on... :-)}

I'm not really one for resolutions (besides the proverbial lose 20lbs) and I don't have any for this year but I do have dreams and ideas and hope. These 3 things were very obviously lacking for me this year. In the thick of chemo treatment I wondered if I would ever have creative ideas or dreams, if I would ever feel passion or drive for anything again. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch, watch movies or tv and get the day over with. That fog is lifting, thank goodness, and I'm finding my mojo.

A few days ago I started to take down our Christmas stuff. The idea was just the tree, since it was totally dying, but everything else I'd leave up. Well I did the tree, took stock, realized I wasn't near tired enough to stop and plus there were needles everywhere - better keep going. Got Sam to take down the rubber maids and packed it all up, then cleaned the house! At about 4 I realized what I'd just done. I'd spent a whole day doing stuff, not laying on the couch, not my usual 2011 method of cleaning (vacuum one room, then lay down!), but how I used to be. I was excited to see the final result of a clean house (I know what your thinking - this excited about cleaning? But a clean house brings me as close to bliss as a good piece of chocolate).

At the end of that day I jokingly said to Sam, "I'm back!" And I really felt that. And I think my family feels that too which makes me super happy. So it may be obvious but today I feel optimistic. And that is exactly how I want to start this new book.