Monday, September 26, 2011

Season of Change

With Number 7 just around the bend I'm starting to feel as if the end is in sight. The end of chemo anyway. I met today with a 2nd Radiation Oncologist and will start radiation about 4 weeks after my last chemo. This decision was hard for us to make. A lot of back and forth, a lot of questions to different doctors, friends and family, and a lot of waiting on God for his wisdom and discernment. But we are moving forward, putting all our concerns and fears into the waiting hands of Jesus. And I feel at peace.

This month has also been filled with a lot of normal life things which is a relief after months of focusing on cancer. I feel as if I'm participating in my life once more, not just letting my health consume me (although sometimes it still does). Instead I spend my time dreaming of the future, embracing autumn - the season of change (and my personal favourite), and intentionally doing things that I forgot I loved to do (cooking new recipe's, fallifying the house) while trying out some new things (green smoothies, veggie only meals).

Of course these good days are interspersed with the freak out ones too. Who doesn't have those right? But I feel that those kind of days are slowly being replaced by good ones, ones of contentment, peace and reliance on Jesus. Trusting is hard but when you practice it, it gets easier.