Monday, March 25, 2013

to savour: enjoy completely

Have been reading one thousand gifts and feel so heart swollen - tears threaten to break over at random times when I think of it. Her writing yes - but also the idea of gratitude being the catalyst for a fuller life. A life that savours. Isn’t that what I’ve been wanting? What most of us want? 

My tendency is ingratitude. Or at the very least a gratitude that is flippant and quick. The kind I don’t think about, not really. I love the authors idea that true thankfulness slows us down. And isn’t that when the savouring can happen? The growing, the intentionality?

It’s sort of like lifting your eyes to the sunlight, breathing deep, smelling spring. But every day. Even when it’s raining and grey and your floors need washing and the dishes are piling up and you haven’t done laundry for a week and you know you’ll have 15 loads (this could or could not be the case right now in my laundry room :).

It’s about finding the sun in the doldrums isn’t it? Learning to find the sun, not just being able to experience it when it magically appears. 

I have so much to be thankful for when I think about cancer and living. This week is 2 years since my first surgery to remove cancer and I am healthy and active and alive. But so many days I forget that I’m thankful. I stew and complain and give into frustration. I’m ready to learn to find the sun. 

I’m glad I overcame my prejudice against the overly marketed ‘next best thing’ and picked up this book.  

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

A Sun and Shield

For a few weeks now the words from Psalm 84 have been popping up everywhere. I'll think about them when I wake up in the morning, as I'm stressing about what to make for dinner and as I look out the rain streaked window - especially as I look out the rain streaked window.

For the Lord God is a sun and shield (vs 11). 

Often when it rains - and it has sure rained a lot around here these past weeks - I find myself rushing from my van to the house or to the grocery store, dodging puddles, praying I won't get hit by a car and that my hair won't have the little style it has rained out of it. My head is down. The world is grey. 

But on the odd day the sun splits through the clouds, all that changes. Rushing turns to strolling, I don't mind waiting for the light to change or the car to pass. I lift my head, close my eyes and feel the warmth. The sun can change me. Give me strength, bolster my emotions, even turn listlessness into energy. And I always take the time to stop and look up, to enjoy it, to feel it.

The Lord God is my sun and shield. So why don't I stop more to enjoy the Light. To feel the warmth of His presence on my face, to let Him infuse me with his strength, power, grace, love. I need to stop more for that. 

And the shield part? Well I sort of see that as the Lord God is my sun and my sunscreen. I could sit out all day under his glow and never fear of getting burned. He's the fire and the protection from the fire. He's all we need.