Sunday, October 9, 2011

Every Good and Perfect Gift...

I'm a very lucky lady. Or maybe blessed is a better term. Luck implies randomness and I think that the gift of Sam in my life was anything but random.

This year has been insane. How it is that I've already travelled 8 months on this cancer journey? What is it that has kept me going through it all? Well - many things actually! The support and prayer of so many friends and family, help with meals, coffee dates, random life giving outings, and the smiles from my kids. But there is one that tops all the others and that is Sam.

He has been at almost every appointment I've had. From surgery to chemo and all the doctors appointments in between. I remember the first chemotherapy cycle. About 2 hours after being home I crashed and burned and he stepped right in to pick up all the pieces. He kept me hydrated and out of the hospital that weekend. Plying me with drinks of all sorts while I threw up and laid on the couch for hours at a time barely able to form a coherent thought.

I also remember one morning feeling miserable but unable to sleep. I took up my spot on the couch and listened to him clean the kitchen, sweep and wash the floor, tidy up all around me while doing loads of laundry. It was that comfortable bustle of activity - when you know you are being looked after, someone's got ahold of it all and you don't have to worry, you can just relax. He knew what I needed to feel most at peace and comfortable and he just did it.

Since that day Sam has done many more loads of laundry, many meals, a lot of driving back and forth to school, house cleaning, bed making, and many many outings with the kids. He shaved my head for me, ran out to the drugstore early in the morning or late at night, made sure I had clean sheets every other day during the days I felt the worst, lysol'd the house over and over, did every kid bedtime and breakfast by himself and spent many evenings alone while I was in bed by 7pm. Every chemo cycle he hands me a card filled with words of support and love - reminders that we are walking the road together. Those things have meant so much to me and I am so thankful.

I can't imagine having gone through this without him and I'm so glad we're a team. A team in decision making and treatment and whatever comes next. So today I am Thankful. Thankful that God chose Sam to be my husband.