Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A Sweet Fragrance

So here's what I look like now. I've tried hats and scarves and really like the scarves. They are light and cool, help me feel good and comfortable in my skin now that I'm mostly bald.

Today is the perfect sort of day. Quiet, summery, not too hot or cool. I don't need help today - I can make lunch and dinner and take care of everyone, which is a good feeling after a week of everyone taking care of me.

And speaking of everyone taking care of me - this last time was marginally better in that I threw up less. But I was still pretty sick all weekend and then weak and shaky for a couple days. It takes about 8 days to start feeling more normal and then a few after that to feel great and then it's time to start it all over again.

I think one of the harder things for me (besides the really sick days) is my sense of smell. Everything smells off and yucky to me. My house and bedroom smell musty and sick, food smells gross, water tastes yucky, smells really set me off, especially the first week after treatment. I was reading a devotional the other day that had Psalm 46:1 written at the end. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." I was thinking about what sort of 'present help' I needed to get me through this and then thought that if God's presence was with me in a smell, a fresh, outdoorsy type of smell, in the chemo room, when I got home and through the hardest days - that would be a very real help.

So that's what I'm praying for. God's presence in a smell. You can pray that along with me if you're wondering for something specific to pray for. That and of course continued protection from infection and sickness, and continued sun!