So here's what I look like now. I've tried hats and scarves and really like the scarves. They are light and cool, help me feel good and comfortable in my skin now that I'm mostly bald.Today is the perfect sort of day. Quiet, summery, not too hot or cool. I don't need help today - I can make lunch and dinner and take care of everyone, which is a good feeling after a week of everyone taking care of me.
And speaking of everyone taking care of me - this last time was marginally better in that I threw up less. But I was still pretty sick all weekend and then weak and shaky for a couple days. It takes about 8 days to start feeling more normal and then a few after that to feel great and then it's time to start it all over again.
I think one of the harder things for me (besides the really sick days) is my sense of smell. Everything smells off and yucky to me. My house and bedroom smell musty and sick, food smells gross, water tastes yucky, smells really set me off, especially the first week after treatment. I was reading a devotional the other day that had Psalm 46:1 written at the end. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." I was thinking about what sort of 'present help' I needed to get me through this and then thought that if God's presence was with me in a smell, a fresh, outdoorsy type of smell, in the chemo room, when I got home and through the hardest days - that would be a very real help.
So that's what I'm praying for. God's presence in a smell. You can pray that along with me if you're wondering for something specific to pray for. That and of course continued protection from infection and sickness, and continued sun!
Hi Heidi,
ReplyDeleteI know it's been a really long time but I have been reading your blog and sense the Lord nudging me to send some encouragement your way.
Your call for a "sweet fragrance" reminded me of a (true) story that my mom used to tell me about "The Smell of Rain." I've posted a link to the full story here: http://living-testimony.blogspot.com/2006/10/heaven-scent-story-of-diana-blessing.html
Be blessed today. We are praying for you here at the Schmaling household.
Love,
Beth (White) Schmaling
You are looking good Heidi. I have read that smell is linked to memory, so perhaps in one of 'those' awful smell moments, sit in a comfy chair, close your eyes and remember a good smell perhaps favourite flowers, grandma Harnum or your mom's kitchen years ago, any time and place that love and memory can be associated with a scent and it should flood your senses. Thinking of you, Aunt Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteYou look great Heidi! I am so glad to hear that this time around you have felt better and you are up and able to do more. What an answer to prayer! May each day come with more than the last and may you continually find the strength of God's hand has He carries you through. May his sweet aroma of love for you surround you!
ReplyDeleteI love how blue your eyes are and how your smile shines through, hair or no hair! You are beautiful and amazing and strong and God is walking with you through this and I am praying for 'a good smell' to lodge itself in your nose!
ReplyDeleteHeidi, beautiful as always! Funny story about "smell and scent"...hopefully will make you smile, when grandma (mom) was ill, your mom and I ( you may have even been there too) were sitting in the living room at grammy and grampys place and we smelled this amazing smell, like lilacs ( which is one of my childhood memory smells), we immediately thought of Gods presence with us in this smell...then grampy came upstairs and notified us he was ironing downstairs with lilac scented spray!! Anyway, believing and praying with you that God can conquer this for you, love you so much!!
ReplyDeleteAuntie Pam
Dear Heidi
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you so often, as God reminds me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm walking along side you, on this journey. Love A.Anne
Heidi it's raining it's pouring. Literally. It's insanely beautiful. I can't really smell it but that's ok. We were warned of heavy thunder showers. I wish 4 u to experience other senses. And ur Vogue scarf outlining a pretty pretty face. Were all cheering 4 u. Run the race. Go go go xo
ReplyDeleteHeidi, I think of you often. I will be praying for the sweet presence of Jesus to fill your senses.
ReplyDeletePraying for you today.
ReplyDeleteShirley