Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bitter and Sweet

Tonight we celebrated Passover with our home group - which we actually call "Soup Sunday" since we always get together on Sunday and we always have soup together. Except for tonight it was Passover with Turkey dinner.

Celebrating Passover is a tradition that has been carried out every year for 3000 years. A remembering of Moses and the deliverance of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. But also a celebration of deliverance and freedom and ultimately redemption. We followed a Passover Seder for Christians and within the readings were so many things that reached out and spoke to me.

Such as: 'Let us never forget that the struggle for freedom begins in suffering, and that life is sometimes immersed in tears.' We remembered this bitterness by eating bitter parsley dipped in salt water and we remembered the hope of freedom by eating a sweet apple/honey/nut mixture on a Matzah (which was actually a Wasa cracker:)). 'Often life is a mixture of bitter and sweet, of sadness and joy.'*

The comparison of bitter and sweet, sadness and joy really resonated with me. I feel that that is what our life is right now. It is sad, hard, bitter, sometimes dark and unknown but because of Jesus (and so many wonderful people surrounding us) it is also filled with hope, light, joy, peace and it's totally OK.

And that is truly how I feel. Even amidst the times of sadness, worry, uncertainty and despair. Even in the bitter times I still feel hope. And I think the truth of who I am and who Jesus is is so clear to me right now because of all of those that are constantly praying for us. Reminding Jesus that we're here and that we're desperate right now. I feel the impact of those prayers, so please don't stop!

In case this is sounding too optimistic, don't worry - I'm not in denial. Cancer sucks. It's totally hijacked our lives. Sam is home this weekend when he had planned to be away. He's missing a great youth conference in San Antonio, Texas and dinner with his brother in Phoenix on Tuesday and most likely a trip in May to somewhere far away that he was really looking forward to. Instead he's gearing up for a week of lunch making and laundry and cleaning while I lounge in bed recovering from surgery #2. Not a fun trade off and I wish with all my heart that he didn't have to do any of it.

But that's the bitter. Good thing hope comes along to balance it out.

*The Passover Seder for Christians adapted by Dennis Bratcher

7 comments:

  1. Dad and I are fasting and praying for you all today, this is truely a bitter sweet time. We are trusting God along with you for all of His Healing, Mercy and Grace.

    Love you a bunch
    Mom

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  2. I am so glad to know that the prayers and love coming your way are bringing you sweet during this all.

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  3. Dearest friend,

    You are being covered in prayers today and through the coming weeks. I'm praying for complete healing! God is able to do exceedingly more than we can ever imagine. What a gift to have the strength of such a supportive, devoted and loving husband...Sam, you're amazing! And what a blessing to have family and friends that care so deeply for you. God gives us everything that we need in our times of difficulty. And while life has its painful and completely uncertain moments, we can fully trust and depend upon the unfailing love, strength and grace of God.He is exceedingly able.

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  4. I love how you express yourself in this blog; how your honesty and faith shines so true. You have been and continue to be brave in your life and as a cousin watching from the sidelines, I am so proud to be in your family. Thinking of you and praying for you all the time, Moni

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  5. We are with you in prayer. May the Lord cover you with his peace this week.

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  6. Dearest Heidi,

    Know that you are loved and prayed for in Lethbridge, Alberta. Strangely enough, I too am reading a 365 day devotional by Sarah Young, 'Jesus Calling'. It reminds me of a pet conversation that me and my Mom have, I come to her door and I say 'Avon calling'. And we kyhy. He's at our door and wants to have supper with us. So many things I don’t understand.

    Lovingly given,

    Sharen Harms

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  7. By the time that you read this I am assuming you will have had surgery #2. I hope that it went well and that your recovery has been better than anticipated. I will be continuing to pray for you and your family. I am encouraged by the perspective you continue to choose to have daily. The Lord is being glorfied and honored through you and the situation you face. Take care

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