Today the miracle I prayed for was sun. I think what I actually said was: 'God, I don't know if I can get through this without sun. Please, please, let us have sun for the next 6 months.' And it really would be a miracle here in the rain capital of the world (alright - I don't know if I officially live in the rain capital of the world but it sure feels like it most days)I've been thinking about trusting in God and faith and all those things that I've been trying to hold onto as we wait. They are easy words to just say - 'have faith', 'we're trusting in God', 'he'll never give us more then we can handle.' I know all the phrases, what I also know is that they aren't always as reassuring as we want them to be when we spout them into someone's place of grief or pain or uncertainty.
But they are truth and I was wondering how they have manifested their presence in our lives. Here are a few thoughts on what living with trust and faith looks like for us this month:
the absence of fear
the presence of peace
laughter
sleep
conversations about life and the future
the ability to say cancer without any accompanying feeling of dread
being fully present for take-home reading and piano practice and outside road hockey games
And yet in-spite of what I know to be true, today was a sad day. Many different family members are experiencing loss and grief and I felt the ache of sadness today for and with them. We are still waiting for news and praying for the best but God's promises are true even when we hear and experience the worst. Tonight my prayer is that they would be reminded of these promises that are still true even in their darkest places. He is our refuge and strength. Let faith arise.
I lift my Hands by Chris Tomlin
Be still, there is a healer
his love is deeper than the sea
His mercy is unfailing
His arms a fortress for the weak.
let faith arise
let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
you are my refuge you are my strength
as I pour out my heart these things I remember
you are faithful god forever
love that song Heidi..
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for tons of Sunny Days for you..It's going to be a record for sunniest B.C days ever this year!
As surely as He brought the sunshine to you today, God is watching over you, holding you close, listening to each and every thought and emotion that you are experiencing, caring for you in the most incredibly personal ways... and walking this journey of complete dependence on Him.....hand in hand with you. You're right, the words themselves have a difficult time reaching the depths of our fears and our pain, but the truth of these words can sink in deeply, soothing and healing the core of our troubled hearts and souls when we say, "Yes Lord, I trust you, in all circumstances."
ReplyDeleteHeather - I'd love to break the record for sun!
ReplyDeleteAngie - So true, love you wise friend.
Today, in my continued prayers for peace and healing for you, I will add sunshine to the prayer requests! :-) I am so sorry for the sadness in your extended family, please know that I have prayed extra for your Mom through this.
ReplyDeleteI pressed that play button and only listened for seconds before tears started running down my cheeks.
ReplyDeleteIt is raining today... and it is making me think of you... and pray for you... that the reality of rain won't diminish the truth of a God who cares intimately for you. You are His beloved. May His love penetrate the depths of you... in undeniable ways... strengthening you for this day.
thanks Kristin. sun for this non-BC girl is a necessity!
ReplyDeleteRosanna - I love this song. And I love you. Can't wait until the 10th to meet James!
ReplyDeleteHeidi you are the sunshine in our life and i know that the lord will shine His glory on you and through you as you wait on Him.You will never be the same and never sense God's presence more then during this time.He has incredible love for you and will never leave you nor forsake you.
ReplyDeletelove Dad
crying as I watch the video
ReplyDeleteHeidi,
ReplyDeleteMy prayer for you this week is that you would experience the peace of God that transcends all understanding. That in your waiting you there would be comfort, rest and peace. I hope that you hear soon.